OMG

"so any of you kids on that friendster thing?"
I could've sworn he looked at me when he asked
I laughed and clapped and giggled and screamed
me "so what brought up that comment about frienster?"
m doughty "you know what did."
me "no... that's why I'm asking."
m doughty "you'll see."
me - give him a strange look
m doughty "you're kate aren't you?"
me "...yes..."

oh he's good. he's always been good. but I didn't know he was this good

ladies and gentlemen, you missed out.

the love pooch

I don't even like sleeping anymore
and she kept saying what's wrong today
"they're looking for someone to make them happy
instead of looking for someone to share their happiness with"

I'm tired. I'm jealous. I feel jaded. I'm hypocritical.
why not give up now? I'm not getting ahead.

he has a nice butt.

I ran away only to come back home
isn't that how the story always goes?
not exactly a happy ending or one at all
she cried though so I dried her tears
kiss and I do love you. thank you.

I was right.

I left home thinking everything would be different. I waited and counted down the months, weeks, days, hours, moments until I would be gone from the tedium that had become my life. I had grown so used to the repetition that I had let my life become. I arrived here knowing everything would be different.

and I was right.
I'm sad I was right.
I wish I wasn't.

my silence speaks in foreign tongues native to the heart

in the cool night air my clothes stick to me
and I remember
of all the others you were the one I couldn't throw away
nothing's stayed the same
my hands tied
and I'm burying myself

I know you won't say anything.

mm spotty sight
and time won't stand still
alas, now has come
and reality has me confused
four more and I'm finished
I won't have to repeat
suits I never wore
phone calls I never placed
I'll say hello the day before the sun
laughter and screaming will be one
I'm ready and I'm not ready
I have my doubts but I'll set them aside
maybe I'll make it
maybe I'll just set up shop
I'll ask around for a ride to night time
I'd like to hear the curbside prophet
but inevitability might be
so plans I haven't made will fall through
and then where will I be?
right at home.

thank you

through it all and the moonlight
I push it away because its...
its dangerous to fall for someone like you
there's an ugly pause
and I come up for air
breathing I know soon enough
maybe, soon enough

my name to you is just another word

but it's been a while
since mind and heart spoke as one
thought and I'm sorry
those life times ago I grew silent
now catching up with me and I lost my words
I would write up a document
an essay to sum up when I wasn't one with you
instead though, I'll wash this all away
and all that's left will be more than what I started with
maybe it would begin with "Thank You"

you continue

business men and their suits
time and the women trying to hide from it
inevitability holding this world by the hand
life dictating love
love dictating life
destiny, lust at first sight
human urges hidden within silk
eyes screaming a hunger
increasing with each blink...

they cried aloud. they cried alone.


it could be. but it could've been. so I whispered "no more of this game." those games I grew to love and live off of. the hollow pain they left in me deep down. I yearned for them. and I thought. despite my efforts. "what's your..." purpose. function. name. story. being. fault, me. I didn't think it would return. it returned. "possibility" I whimpered to the dial tone on my phone. "I want you to ...!" come back. go away. leave me alone. love me like you did once. never again. stay. don't talk to me. touch. taste what you can't have. take me. "...never again," I said, "please..." I said.

crying out "YES! ...", I slept. in my sleep I heard myself laugh "so des." its all about me now. I, I, I, and me too. "you see?" this struggle depresses what I should refuse to feel. I see now, "I see now." instead of fighting against the storm, I'm going to feel what I need to and let the rest wash away in the wind, "ah, love." I can live off the game you don't know you still play and replace you with another.

it would've been, "oh it would've..." if it had to be but it didn't, "I guess that's an oh well." so it isn't thus the end. lifetimes ago. "goodbye hello." life times go. and so does this one. without you.

thank you

near the end is where we'll begin. just when you feel your foot touch the water, just when you've let out that breath I warned you not to hold, I catch your hand and save you from drowning. there's a feeling in there waiting. it's been there since birth. it was put there because of your birth. it was touched by your parents. it was touched by your friends. it was touched by yourself. but something tells you there's a better feeling to go along with it. there's someone else who needs to touch it and make it grow the way you've always dreamed it would. you walk alone with this idea you've developed and drawn up through life, you pass by strangers wondering if they feel the same way. there's something more out there. maybe this time you've found it. maybe next time you'll find it. you keep on dreaming because you think there isn't anything else to do. one day you accidently reached out, that one day you accidently fell. could you feel yourself flying?

its time to say goodbye.

last night I was dying
whispers were all I heard
an empty hollow lonesome feeling
I let it go and it held on tight
my soul wanted to say
before I heard the inevitable
I saw the light shine
in eyes and smiles
and shifting and floating thoughts
I know what's happening
I should remember this for the morrow
but I don't want to disrupt now

my pants are falling apart.

and I want to feel lovely.
but I do.
11 days and yesterday I... yes I did.
I left feeling my joints had locked and loaded
waiting to break and shatter to healing
again in my heaven that is my empty bed
but oh, it was so worth it
I was so ... , I could have cried just a little
it was so lovely. lovely indeed.
the way he hid his eyes behind his shades
the lights shining, reflecting
the sweat of his efforts and years
of this and pain and beauty
and what I would imagine should be anguish
I'm glad he came again
and this time I stayed.
there was something about the way his dimples added more to his smile
and he sang, so beautiful. fully.
everything vibrated. shimmered. glimmered.
the sound waves in the air
playing in my ears. I could hear
I could feel what he was saying
up and down my everything
I walked by and he pounded and I smiled
going to where I knew I should be.
my smile fell apart into laughter
and it was all wonderful
I jammed, I danced, I enjoyed
I fell back in love