*swoon

August 15th, 2006 § 5 comments

it was time for me to go back down to that god forsaken city that I once loved, until you came along. I had to leave to go back to school. winter break was over and it was time for me to say temporary good byes. we had spent the previous weekend locked in each other’s embrace. refusing to let go. refusing to stop loving. it had only been a few weeks since we first came together but it felt like an eternity. leaving felt like breaking my heart.

it was the night before I was being driven back down to richmond. you came by for one last goodbye. a hug. a kiss. don’t let me go. you quickly handed me a little folded up piece of paper.

“don’t look at it until I leave.”

I didn’t want you to leave. I didn’t wan to leave. please stay. tell me I have to stay. tell me I can’t go. ever.

you kissed me. one more time. just once more, please.

and then you were gone. tail lights fading down the street. I stood there until I couldn’t hear your exhaust anymore. I stood there waiting for you to drive back. but you knew it had to be this way.

I reached into my pocket and stared at the folded up paper. carefuly, I opened it and my heart immediately swelled. I couldn’t help but start to cry. tears of happiness, of joy, of sadness at having to leave.

but I came back. months later, I came back. you didn’t ask for your heart back. you asked me to keep it as long as I wanted to. this time when I came back, I came back for good. some said I shouldn’t move to be closer to you. some said I was running away from responsibility. some said I was running to unrealistic ideas. the important ones said, “do what your heart tells you.”

I still have your heart. I carry it around with me everywhere I go. moving back here was the best decision I have made in the past, well, ever. maybe I did move back to be with you. maybe I convinced myself VCU’s photo program sucked so that I would think it was the right choice moving back here. maybe I’m blinded by love even to this day.

if I am, I hope it stays that way.

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§ 5 Responses to *swoon"

  • jen says:

    some of us were wrong, and happily so. hopefully i’m invited to the wedding. free schwag, cuisinart, all that. ps- go back to white background. it’s way prettier and much more you.

  • Jonathan Rowny says:

    Until you couldn’t hear his exhaust anymore? That must’ve been like forever.

  • jaysmom says:

    Great story. That’s my baby-boy.
    U R perfect together!

  • johanna says:

    i just cried all over my iBook. i’m in the same position – moving to new york in a week, about to leave my love here in richmond. he isn’t moving with me, and doesn’t know if he can handle long distance. i think of your relationship all the time and hope that some day i have someone like that. i wish patrick were like that, but the timing just isn’t right. he’s too young and i have too strong of dreams to stay here. i’m glad you’ve found it <3

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